Sweet little girl..

I want to remind myself that I am Perfect just the way I am with my fuck ups and my pain and all.

There is this Perfectionist in me, that always want to strive for the best. I am so sick and tired treading myself like I am guilty of something.

This Perfectionist in me cannot stand criticism from others. Fuck off, it says. It will do anything to keep any form of that away with a 'I know better' This is my defence mechanism.

Underneath that is pain. A lot of pain. It is a little girl that feels deeply worthless and alone. That feels she does not belong to this world. That does not feel like she is Perfect the way she is.

She think she need to do more, work harder, be stronger, be more perfect, proces more, do more work on herself to become a 'better' Person. If not, she failed and has no reason to live.

Oh sweet girl...

This is about pain, my pain, of not being seen and met in my deep inner world and needs when I was young. And she is scared to just be who she is and to stand for that.

I want to let this girl in me know:

Sweet girl, there is absolutely nothing to be done. There is absolutely nowhere to go. You are absolutely perfect the way you are, and you don't 'have' to be Perfect, or have to become that. You are already that, just like everyone else.'

It is your birthright to feel joy, to sing, to dance, to feel free, to be expressive, to enjoy this freaking life..

Don't let the outer world fool you or seduce you into the collective believe that 'you are not Perfect yet' of that 'You need to work hard to become and really be Someone in the world'

I want to acknowledge this pain in me. My pain. This girl. It fucking hurts.

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Now, I want to dance, with stars in my eyes and with my pain in full allowance to be there.

Merry Christmas everybody. Let's see the Perfection in all of Creation, in ourselves , and in each other and let's not deny any pain, anymore. <3